Stuck in fatigue? That’s just normal right?
Everyone is exhausted and worn out. We wear it like a badge of honour. Because we think it’s an inevitable consequence of being a hard worker, a diligent and conscientious parent/ partner/ colleague or friend. Its my age, its, the menopause…..and a whole host of ‘normalisers’ that we tell ourselves to make us feel better about feeling so awful..
For some of my clients the exhaustion gets so bad that they eventually confide: “Do you know if tomorrow I just didn’t wake up, that would be fine by me.” Don’t get me wrong, they don’t want to end their lives, but the truth is that each day is just so tough, so hard going, so exhausting, that if they didn’t wake up one morning, it would be ok. Wow.
And if you are reading this and thinking, yes, that’s how I feel, then please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have felt like this when I was struggling with my own fatigue all those years ago, I hear it at least once a day in my clinic, and I’m sure lots of people are out there struggling behind the invisible mess that is fatigue.
And the good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in fatigue!
10 ways fatigue keeps you stuck
Fatigue is a sneaky beast! It creeps in, builds its layers and takes your defences down one by one. Here is a typical cascade of what happens when we go into fatigue and stay there.
1) Lose motivation We all know this one! Anytime we feel tired, we lose out mojo. WE just don’t have as much umph as much get up and go. And when out physical energy slows down, so does our mental energy. They go hand in hand.
2) Irritable and short-fused Ever snapped at someone after a night of next to no sleep? And hopefully that’s just a one off, and then you get back to normal. When you’re stuck in fatigue, feeling snappy and irrtbale becomes oyur normal. You are easily upset, anooyined, lose your patience and lose your resilience to deal with setbacks.
3) Low mood and feeling depressed This is another biggie. When we are in fatigue, our mood drops. We stop being able to feel joy, to take pleasure from things, and to recharge ourselves after a long day. WE get disconnected from the buzz and vibe of life. And we lose our ability to feel grateful, and take enjoyment from everyday things.
4) Lose confidence You can see the dominoes starting to fall now, can you? You lose motivation, stop doing the things that gave you pleasure. You lose the ability to even register pleasure and joy, and instead feel irritable and snappy. So then you start feeling like you’re just not a nice person, and lose confidence in your abilities. Your self worth starts to crumble, and that makes you feel even less motivated.
5) Eat rubbish Ok, the dominoes are crashing down now, because as we lose motivation and energy, our self-care start to go out of the window. We start eating rubbish, anything quick to throw in the microwave instead of a freshly prepared nutritious meal that you can take pleasure from. The carb cravings take over, and you are caught in a trap of eating rubbish, beating yourself up for being a ‘ bad person’ and sabotaging yourself once again, and the show just goes on!
6) Sleep restless The other aspect of fatigue is that it has a big impact on our sleep. Speak to any chronically fatigued person and they will tell you one of 2 things. They either sleep all day long(or would like to) or their sleep is restless broken and minimal. Either way, they wake up feeling as if they haven’t slept at all and they are just as tired as when they went to bed. And another loop of the vicious circle is activated: the less quality sleep you get, the more tired you feel , the more the quality of your slepe deteriorates. And so on!
7) Don’t exercise Lack of motivation, can’t feel the joy, rubbish sleep and guess what? Exercising is just about the last thing you want to do. Thde morning run, the gym, the yoga class, or whatever you love to do – it bites the dust. You end up sitting on the couch or lying in bed and guess what…? Yes, another vicious circle.
8) Life becomes about surviving instead of thriving And with all of that going on, it’s easy to see how day-to-day life becomes about ‘getting through the day’ and it feels like ‘wading through treacle’.
9) Impacts how you show up in your job and earn your living. This is a big one, because most of us are either the main breadwinners, or we need the money we earn for important things like the mortgage, kids university fees, or saving up for that special project that is the light at the end of the tunnel. So underperforming, or losing your job is just not an option. And if you are self-employed this is even more critical, because the buck absolutely stops with you.
10) Your relationships suffer And all of this leads to you just wanting to shut yourself off from the world, from life and from the people you love and care about. But the biggest tragedy of all is that you shut off from YOU. You lose yourself, you lose who you are, and you lose what your life is all about. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all. This is the one that really hurts, and does the biggest damage. Because after all, if you lose who you really are and what your life is all about, then what is life for?
This is the one that gets me. When a client says to me: I feel so bad, so worthless and so useless that if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, that would be ok.
And I totally get. I’ve been there. Others have been there. And you won’t be the last person to experience this. But how do we even get out of this vicious circle of fatigue?
“Struggling with fatigue is no joke. It has a real cost”
To you. Our family. Your kids, And YOUR health and happiness.
And it’s totally invisible! No one else knows just how you feel, what you are struggling with every minute of every day. No one knows what its is costing you just to turn up to work and get through the day. Because you look ok. The blood tests are all fine. And ‘there’s’ nothing wrong’.
Getting out of fatigue is a big one. It’s the best work you will ever do.
1) It will help you to start taking better care of yourself
2) It is one of the biggest and most worthwhile personal development journeys I have ever been on. Getting stuck in fatigue calls everything into question, including why you are even here and what your life is for. It is the journey of a lifetime and You will come out all the richer for it.
3) Feel confident from the inside out
4) Feel happy and content
5) Motivated so you can rock your stuff like a boss.
6) Start taking excellent care of yourself – the kind of care you deserve!
7) Reconnect to the joy of eating healthy abundant food.
8) Restore your sleep and feel awesome everyone morning when you wake up and your feet hit the ground!
9) You have ideas, inspiration, you take action, you go for it and life is on fire.
10) Enjoy incredible relationships because you love your life, you can get real enjoyment out of being with people.
and whoops , one more – probably the most important one of all!!
11) Fall back in love with your life because all of this fatigue recovery work means that you are finally being true to who you really are and what your life is for. You will be totally clear on what truly matters to you, invest your time and your energy there and build a life you absolutely love. And there is no better feeling than that!!
Fatigue recovery is not a quick fix or But here is one thing I know 100% for sure: it’s absolutely worth it and it is hands down the best work you will ever go in your life.
I love this quote:
“The best project you will ever work on is you”
Because without your energy there is no you!
Love Margriet xx